Handfasting

Handfasting is a Celtic wedding ceremony from the middle ages. It was a temporary marriage that lasted for a year and a day. Unlike the English who had a friar in most villages, most in Scotland did not have a local minister or priest to perform a marriage ceremony so couples would perform a handfasting which legally bound them until someone of the clergy would pass through the village and could perform a ceremony. In a modern ceremony, a handfasting is incorporated into many wedding ceremonies in a way to honor their Celtic heritage. The couple's hands are bound together in a cord or a tartan cloth during their vows. This is to show that from that point forward, they are no longer two, but are one!

The phrase, "Tying the Knot" may have come from this wedding tradition.

Following is the ceremony we used for the Handfasting portion of our wedding ceremony:

The Handfasting Ceremony

The Minister will start with: “Know now that since your lives have crossed, you have formed ties between each other. The promises you make today and the ties that are bound here will cross the years and greatly strengthen your union. With full awareness, know that you declare your intent to be handfasted before your friends and families."

Minister asks Bride and Groom: Do you still seek to enter this ceremony?

Bride and Groom answer: “Yes, we seek to enter”

Minister says to Bride and Groom: I bid you look into one another’s eyes (hands the cords to the best man.)

(Bride's name), will you honor him? (I will)

 (Groom's name), will you honor her? (I will)

Bride and Groom, will you seek never to give cause to break that honor? (We will)

And so the binding is made. Join your hands. (The first cord is draped across the hands.)

(Bride's name), will you share his dreams? (I will)

(Groom's name), will you share her dreams? (I will)

Bride and Groom, will you dream together to create new realities and hopes? (We will)

And so the binding is made. (Second cord is draped across hands.)

(Bride's name), will you share his laughter? (I will)

(Groom's name), will you share her laughter? (I will)

Bride and Groom, will both of you look for the brightness in life and the positive in each other? (We will)

 And so the binding is made. (Third cord is draped across hands.)

(Bride's name), might you ever burden him? (I might) Is that your intent? (No)

 (Groom's name), might you ever burden her? (I might) Is that your intent? (No)

Bride and Groom, will you share the burdens of each so that your spirits may grow in this union? (We will)

 And so the binding is made. (Fourth cord is draped across the hands.)

Pam, might you ever cause him pain? (I might) Is that your intent? (No)

 Hugh, might you ever cause her pain? (I might)  Is that your intent? (No)

Hugh and Pam, will you both share each other’s pain and seek to ease it? (We will)

And so the binding is made. (Fifth cord is draped across the hands.)

(Bride's name), might you ever cause him anger? (I might) Is that your intent? (No)

(Groom's name), might you ever cause her anger? (I might) Is that your intent? (No)

 Bride and Groom, will you together take the heat of anger and use it to temper the strength of this union? (We will)

And so the binding is made. (Sixth cord is draped across the hands.)

The minister hands the ceremonial book to the best man then ties the cords together and states: The knots of this binding are not formed by these cords, but rather by your vows. For always, you hold in your own hands the making or breaking of this union.

The cords are then removed and placed on the altar.